Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
