More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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