Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I have post one night stand depression
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