Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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