Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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