i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
