So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
