i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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