when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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