after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize