i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
