hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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