I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
