haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
