if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
