"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
too bad you live with your parents still
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
