I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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