If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
