yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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