how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
