On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you would pick up someone in the library
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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