i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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