You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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