Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is this the sara with the beer cane?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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