Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
