she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
