You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
