Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
