and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
