yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
soo... how was my night?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
