he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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