I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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