I have demons in me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
