Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
