His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
