Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
