i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
