Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
