i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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