Im at strip club and am horny
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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