ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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