Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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