Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
