I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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