youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My pussy is not your playground.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
