Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize