He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
