I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i dont even know how to be here
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
