Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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