ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
