Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
