I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize