oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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