were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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