WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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