you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize