So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
