that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
