Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
