I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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