Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
